Category Archives: Accountability

Well, that’s not FAIR!!

surprised smiley

As I was growing up, our family never really had a whole lot of material things to hold on to.   In fact, my youngest sister and I still joke about being so poor, all we had were catfish heads to play with instead of toys.   But what we did have made all the difference in shaping our lives to adulthood.  We had food on the table, we were clean, we wore clean clothes even though they were seldom brand new, and we had love in our home.  We learned how to count and perform basic math in our heads by playing dominoes.  We were taught respect, how to use our common sense, and the necessity to implement the common courtesies we learned along the way.  I’ll never forget one of those “lessons learned”.

One day when I was just a boy, my mom and I were walking down the sidewalk in our small town, running errands.  I was walking to mom’s left side and she quickly corrected me by urging my slight frame to her other side.  I looked at her a little puzzled and she saw the question on my face.  “Men and boys are ALWAYS supposed to walk on the outside of the female, closest to the street” she responded with a matter of fact persona that begged the question “why”?  Mom’s response was enough to send me into a tailspin.  “Well, because if a car swerved toward the sidewalk, it would hit the male first as protector, protecting the fairer sex.”  “Well, that’s not fair!!”, I screamed inside my mind as I had mental images of being sprawled out in the middle of the street, teeth littered around my body as the maiden in distress stood over my lifeless form, hands clasped together and pressed to one of her cheeks declaring, “my HERO!”

It took me more than a few years to completely understand what Mom was trying to teach me in that moment.  You see, we all have the grave responsibility to be more than what we are; to step out of ourselves, our comfort zones, and to be made available to meet other’s needs; even up to and including death.  What parent wouldn’t think twice about running into a burning home to rescue their children but what about your special needs neighbor?  What about the stranger you see every day walking to work because they can’t afford a means to get from point A to point B?

The news this past couple of weeks has been full of unsung heroes doing what they did not because of a possible fifteen minutes of fame or a handshake and “atta boy” from our POTUS but because it was the right thing to do.  Whether it was the hero who would rather take seven bullets from a madman than to fathom another life lost or the stranger in South Carolina who went from door to door in his boat, trying to save anyone in need instead of thinking about his own loss of property, there are true heroes out there but there needs to be more.

Here is another example.  Jesus Christ was sent here from His home to dwell among strangers and haters, not because He enjoyed deprecation but because it was the right thing to do; not only was He being obedient to His Father but He loved/loves us with a fierce love we cannot comprehend.  Jesus had the ultimate reason to cry out “well, that’s not Fair!!” as He hung from that cross, completely broken and humiliated, bleeding and aching from the weight of OUR sin.  Perfect love conquered His own need for preservation as a man on this earth so we wouldn’t have to suffer an eternal separation from the One who made us, our heavenly Father.

What about you and me?  Isn’t it time we turn away from the deceptive mirror of self we have been staring in to far too long and instead, peer out the window of our safe, selfish little cocoon to a world full of need.  And even though we can’t save the whole world, why don’t we just start with the world around us; our city, our neighborhood, our own home.  Pray for the courage to be THAT person who makes a difference, that man or woman who is brave enough to put away the “Me-Me’s” and embrace the unique needs of others.

As for the lesson learned so long ago, I still irritate the people around me, stepping forward to open the door for a lady, whether they be nine or ninety or to walk on the outside, closest to the street.  You see, the common courtesies have been engrained in my very being along with another sentiment; sometimes life isn’t fair…but life is a privilege and passes too soon so we have to make the most of every opportunity to serve those around us.

John 15:12-15 (NIV)– My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.  You are my friends if you do what I command.  I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

Imitators

Over the edge 2

Our granddaughter is almost eight months old now and is beginning to imitate other’s actions such as waving bye and attempting to move her finger up and down across her lips while making noises; she prefers her entire fist though, resulting in a saliva fest.  It seems our entire life is spent either following someone else’s example or being a role model for someone else to follow.

I remember growing up during my influential years in the 1960’s and 70’s where everyone seemed to be expressing one’s self in different ways.  Smoking was one of those things taken for granted and a lot of my family participated in this freedom to inhale toxic fumes.

Living in the country afforded a few freedoms as well.  For instance, the freedom to burn trash in the open air.  Being the imitator as a kid but without having the means to try smoking with an actual cigarette, I found some dry hollow reeds down along the creek bank by the square brick burning pit while I was burning trash one day.  The gray-white fibers of the reeds resembled the white paper of the cancer stick.  I decided I wanted to look and act as cool as my older siblings so I broke off a four inch section of the reed and put the tip of the “cigarette” in the flames until the end glowed red from the embers.  I put the imitation cigarette to my mouth like I had seen others do many times before and inhaled.

What happened next was nothing less than life changing.  Small flames entered my throat along with smoky air, singeing my esophagus in the process.  My eyes grew wide from the pain as well as the smoky pungent smell of burning reed racing down my lungs. I involuntarily coughed uncontrollably, the blackish gray smoke bellowing out as if more anxious to rise to the surface than I was to get it out so I could breathe again.  I stood there, continuing to cough violently as well as mentally kicking myself across the yard.  I desperately glanced in all directions to see if anyone else had witnessed the blatant stupidity of a young boy trying to imitate the foolishness of others.

Fast forward more than a couple of decades and I find myself once again in the present, hopefully much more wiser and aware of the consequences of imitating others or following someone’s example without first analyzing and reasoning out their intentions and possible negative outcomes.  However, I am greatly concerned and have been for some time that it seems many blindly follow and imitate the latest trends, fads, popular people in the spotlight, and yes, even governmental politics bent toward entitlement and socialism without first stepping back for even a split second to think of the eventual consequences of said blind following.

Don’t you think it is past time to be the responsible, accountable “grown-ups” we are supposed to be and pray to again become the examples of those growing up around us?  And before you judge me for seemingly being such a self-righteous hypocrite, brandishing my pistol of one-sided opinions, may I remind you that I only write what is on my heart that God is also speaking to me; I’m certainly aware of my own shortcomings—and I need help.

Ephesians 5:1-2(ESV) reads, “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.  And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” What an awesome reminder of whom we should imitate constantly in thought, word, and deed so we have a chance to be that example others are looking for to follow.  And now that I find myself in the position of tribal elder in our little family nucleus, I am once again reminded of the grave responsibility we have as humans to impress upon our next generation not only the common courtesies and manners of life, the do’s and don’ts that separate the civilized from the savages but especially the eternal.  For it is only through the grace of God that we are still here, breathing on this earth and it is only by His mercy through His son Jesus Christ that we have a hope for a future far better than our present circumstances.

The next time you see a child doing something they shouldn’t, even to the point of foolishly ingesting noxious fumes from a weed, fight the inner adult child within that wants to sit back and see what happens so you can be entertained, and use this as a time of instruction, of lovingly guiding that student on to a better path of wisdom and understanding.   And remember, those eyes are on you whether you want them to be or not, imitating your every move; make the most of it.

Proverbs 14:12 (ESV)—There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.