Tag Archives: Healing

Christian, Christianity, God, Hope, Inspirational, Life, Patience, Spirituality, Waiting

Pacing in the Waiting Room—Part Deux

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…the rest of the story

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Before you go any further, if you haven’t read Part I of this story, please retreat to that earlier post.  If you have read the first part, you might be interested in how our story has played out this summer.  You may even be interested in re-reading the first post to refresh your memory…truth be told, I had to…

Part I basically ended with getting an offer on our house in Ohio.  That was definitely an answered prayer but we were suddenly presented with the “Oh no, what we gonna do now” question as we basically had forty-five days before we had to move out of our house and into what and where?  Even that was a real answer to prayer as it commonly is a thirty day turn around to close on a property but the buyer asked for extra time due to going through the VA for a loan.  As I had time off saved up, I quickly called my daughter and asked if I could crash at their place for a few days so I could look for homes and a job.

Having updated resumes and reference sheets in hand as well as a fresh suit and shirts, I headed south to North Carolina to pursue living accommodations and a new IT position somewhere while my wife kept the home fires burning up north.

My wife and I had been looking on the web for homes and had several listed that we were interested in and it wasn’t difficult to schedule showings on these homes.  With iPhone in hand so I could Facetime my wife and integrate her in a “virtual” tour of the candidate homes, I followed the surrogate realtor from one property to another.  After seven showings of prospective properties within our budget, we came up short, not one property meeting our needs.  Needless to say, we were bummed.

Since I had worked in healthcare related Information Technology for almost thirty-four years, I hit the area hospitals and soon found out that all applications needed to be completed online.  After leaving the last job prospect feeling completely rejected and defeated, I meandered back to my car, wondering if this was really God’s will that we make this drastic change in our lives.  I turned the car on and started down the hilly streets of Morganton headed toward the interstate.  I had recently purchased a new CD from Danny Gokey and it was playing in the background.  As I headed on to the interstate, the third song from the CD was playing and my complete attention was drawn toward the words highlighted below.

“Tell Your Heart To Beat Again”

Written by Matthew West, Bernie Herms

Broken like you’ve never been before
The life you knew in a thousand pieces on the floor
Words fall short in times like these
When this world drives you to your knees
You think you’re never going to get back to the you you used to be.

Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away, step into the light of grace
Yesterdays a closing door you don’t live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you’ve been
Tell your heart to beat again

Beginning just let that word wash over you
It’s alright now, love’s healing hands will pull you through
So take one step, look back up
See the rise and feel the sun
Because your stories far from over and your journey’s just begun

Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away, step into the light of grace
Yesterdays a closing door you don’t live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you’ve been
Tell your heart to beat again

Let every heartbreak and every scar
Be a picture to remind you, who has carried you this far
‘Cause love sees farther than you ever could
This moment He is working everything out for your good

Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away, step into the light of grace
Yesterdays a closing door you don’t live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you’ve been
Tell your heart to beat again

With every fiber of my being, I knew God was speaking to me through these revealing lyrics.  I was now an official “distracted driver” as I was praying and thanking God for His goodness and guidance.

Unbeknownst to me, my daughter and son-in-law had talked to his next door neighbor about selling our home so quickly.  The neighbor’s response was, “you know, we are currently building a house on other acreage and had planned to move out of our house so we could prepare ours for market.  Do you think your in-laws would be interested in looking at our house?”  On the last night before I was to return to Ohio, my son-in-law and I toured their home, iPhone in hand so my wife could tour as well.  My heart leapt as I wandered through the rooms and garage.  Later my wife told me I was moving around so fast, she could hardly see anything!!  Once the tour had concluded, I asked the homeowner what the asking price was  for the home. His response sent me into shock as Justin and I just stared at one another; as it turns out, his asking price was below appraised value!!  You see, the house was PERFECT for the two of us and right beside of our daughter and her family!

I returned to Ohio on that next day which was on a Wednesday and my wife and I returned to North Carolina two days later.  My wife was able to tour the house in person and after giving the nod to purchase the house, we went about securing the loan from the local Credit Union and met with the attorney that would handle the contract.  We flew through the inspections and on June 11th, we moved out of our home of almost seventeen years.  The next day, on the morning of the 12th, we closed on that house and immediately hit the road for North Carolina where we met our movers on the 13th to move in to our new home.  On the 15th of June, we closed on our new home and were able to pay off our two year old car loan as well.

And now here we are in September.  I went back for my last week of employment which ended on June 26th.  We are now a one income family for now and are doing just fine.  My wife and I decided it be best if I began the employment search after our vacation in October.  I no longer have the sense of urgency for a high salary/high stress career; rather, I have a peace that God is truly in control of our lives and we were redirected to this area not just to be with our daughter and family but for another purpose, a holy purpose, yet to be revealed.

Christian, Christianity, God, Hope, Humor, Inspirational, Life, Patience, Spirituality

Perfect Imperfections

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Stone Faced

I have a little confession to make…I’m a left-handed, Appalachian, perfectionist.  And while you might have mental images of a barefoot southpaw, the last confession item has been a real pain in my life for most of my life.  I want everything right in its place; symmetrical—perfect.  But then reality hits; we are not perfect—not even close in thought, word or deed.

I am quite aware of my own imperfections.  Some mornings, I stagger into the bathroom, gaze into the honesty mirror and utter a silent “Oh Lord, what are we going to do with”that” today?”  I am way too aware that I resemble more of a peach pit than Brad Pitt.  The years have successfully tap danced a fast paced number across my body.  Nature has a nasty sense of humor and it seems she is currently laughing hysterically.  How else can I explain having both gray hair AND acne at the same time?  My teeth have shifted around as if they are aligned on some active fault line.  My joints are starting to crack so much that when I stand up our dog jumps and scampers away…

I have tried to remedy some of these physical imperfections in the past.  One year, a day before our trip to Disney World, I decided to go with a more youthful look and had my hair and goatee dyed.  The stylist made a drastic mistake with the hair color and I walked out looking like Juan Valdez!  I was more than embarrassed as we walked through the Magic Kingdom donning my new black pelt; even the Hispanics were pointing and laughing…could it have been because my light brown Andy Rooney brows were sticking out like a sore thumb?  I have since embraced the gray—at least I still have hair…and as another side benefit, I occasionally get an accidental senior discount!

As the old adage states, “Nobody’s perfect” and what a true statement that is! However, sometimes we use that very statement as an excuse to not do the very thing God is urging us to do.  The Bible is chock full of examples where imperfect people were being used by God for His purpose.  Moses had a speech impediment, David had a thing for bathing beauties, and even Saul/Paul had a self-righteous indignation toward Christians to the point of persecution.  2 Corinthians 12:9 (NASB) reads–And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.  Another words, we need to accept our frailties, our imperfections, our weaknesses and allow God to use these fallible traits for His purpose and glory.  But as a caveat, just know that when you decide to say “yes” and follow whatever God would have you do, you will never be the same.  For God does not want to leave us “Just As I Am” , rather He wants us to be more Christ-like.  Philippians 1:6 (NASB) reads, For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. 

So tell me, isn’t it time you took a good look in your own internal honesty mirror?  What personal imperfections or weaknesses has God wanted to use of yours that would be perfect for His purpose?  Truth be told, God wants your entire package of perfect imperfections…and mine.  And as for my perfectionism, God and I are still working on it.  I have not mastered it completely which my wife can attest as I follow behind her during cleaning and straighten up all the pictures on the walls…

Christian, Christianity, Forgiveness, God, Hope, Humor, Inspirational, Life, Spirituality

Living the Trashy Life

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dumpster

There is an unofficial sport known worldwide but yet goes pretty much completely unnoticed. These pseudo athletes do not appear on cereal boxes nor do they get pricey endorsements. You can normally see these “thrill seekers” meandering around neighborhoods near college campuses in late summer to early fall but they can be found anywhere at any time. Who is this elite group of daring individuals you might ask? Dumpster divers…

For some of you, this term brings on a snicker and an involuntary head shake but for others, well, they are feeling their face grow warm as the emotion of embarrassment overtakes them. These “divers” cross over socioeconomic lines and you may be surprised who around you has taken “the plunge” one time or another.

Ok, and now for the true confession….been there, done that. It was circa 1980 and my wife and I were about as poor as our government leader’s morals. We were living in Franklin House apartments just around the building from our complex’ dumpster. One day coming home from work, I spied an exercise bike sitting beside of the grime laden dumpster. I debated for a while and decided to investigate further, eyeing the primitive pedaling apparatus up and down with a critical eye. Not finding anything wrong with the piece of equipment, I looked all around me for prying eyes, picked up the bike, and cantered off to our apartment like a dog with a new bone in its’ mouth.

I beamed with pride as I showed my new bride the find of the decade. She returned my look with a suspicious glare. I mounted my mechanical steed and started pedaling, my upper body lunging back and forth in rhythmic procession. Suddenly my rhythm was disrupted by a crack of metal and my body being hurled toward the now exposed post of the defunct exercise bike; I narrowly missed impaling my at the time, slight, terrified frame on the “pedals of death”. My thrill was replaced with humiliation as I sheepishly picked up the now evident piece of garbage and retraced my steps back to its’ rightful owner, the lowly dumpster.

There is another type of dumpster diving that is far more destructive which I dare say is one of an unforgiving heart.   I think at times, we all have been guilty of holding a grudge or carrying a hurt left by another. And how many times have we heard the name of the person who committed the offense only to trigger something inside that entices us to dive into the deepest recesses of our minds to the dumpster of unforgiveness. Once there, you plunge in to the deep bin of bitterness laden with the stench of resentment, scrambling to find that one rotting memory so you can once again experience the painful sting of the event. Once relived, you carefully place the decaying memory exactly where you found it so you can easily retrieve it later; feeling justified in your righteous indignation and condemnation of the offender, you once again snap back into reality. When will we realize that we cannot inflict harm upon the ghosts of the past; we are only hemorrhaging our souls. Only our forgiveness of others can neutralize the pain of those excruciating memories and only Jesus can sterilize our hearts and place our hurts in the proper perspective of being healed memories and lessons learned.

And unlike my botched attempt at turning trash to treasure, there are many who have successfully found the unwanted, underappreciated waste of humanity and have turned the items into something beautiful and useful again. Hhhmmm…sounds just like Jesus; He’s in the restoration business, turning our sinful lives into bright, beacons of hope and grace.

So what about you? Isn’t it time to shed those rags of self-pity and breathe in the pristine, life changing air of forgiveness? For life is too short to allow bitterness and unforgiveness to rob us of our joy and zest for life that God so freely gives…

 

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32 NIV

Christianity, Inspirational

Tell It to My Heart

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There are times in our lives when we experience loss. Many times it is a loss of a loved one but at other times the loss is more intangible. For instance, the silent hero of a caregiver who is taking care of another with a chronic condition many times suffers in silence.   Alzheimer’s, Dementia, and many other debilitating diseases can leave the body mostly unaltered but rob the essence of that person; their mind and personality, once so vibrant, now lies in a dormant state. And for their loved ones, the grieving process begins long before their eventual physical death. I experienced that kind of long, drawn out grieving process with my Dad. It was almost a relief when he passed but the guilt associated with that relief took a while longer to recover.

In April of 2013, my mom passed. I was not ready for that kind of grief and for the most part, I suppressed most of it as we worked through the next several months closing out her estate. At the very end of 2013 like an exclamation point to the entire year, my daughter miscarried.

It is at those times of sorrow and desperation that we humans can say the dumbest things to others. Many times we feel uncomfortable or inadequate in comforting another so we ramble…and stammer, all the while the recipient is screaming inside “JUST SHUT UP!” I have learned through my own experiences that sometimes a simple nod with a compassionate face, a small embrace, or even a humble “I’m sorry for your loss” will suffice to comfort those in need.

Sometimes even out of the deepest loss, good can prevail. The lyrics reflected below were written a year ago during the height of my emotional distress. I pray these words might comfort you or someone you know who is going through their own silent screams…may God bless you.

 

Tell it to My Heart

(A Song of Loss and Restoration)

Written by Stephen R. Wilson

 

They say she lived a good full life

They say she is in a better place

Convince me the healing will actually start

Tell it to my heart.

 

They say it wasn’t meant to be

But you can still have a family

As I watch my world just fall apart

Tell it to my heart.

 

Chorus:

Tell it to my heart

The one that’s breaking,

Tell it to my soul

The one that’s aching,

Give me hope the hurting will someday stop.

 

Tell it to my heart

That someday soon,

I can see the sun and not the gloom

Give me just a glimmer of hope not ruin

Tell it to my heart.

 

 

They say you are a God of love

They say you are a God of grace

But can you fill my emptiness

Tell it to my heart.

 

I feel your pain and anguish too

Just lean on Me, you’ll make it through

For my Love for you is without end

Let me heal your heart.

 

 

Chorus:

Let me heal your heart

The one that’s breaking,

I will touch your soul

The one that’s aching,

I will give you Love that will not end.

 

I will whisper to your heart

That someday soon,

You will see the Son and not the gloom

I am your Hope and Healing too

Let me heal your heart.

red rose