Tag Archives: relationships

Accountability, Christian, Christianity, God, Hearing, Hope, Inspirational, Life, Listening, Patience

Sshhh…Listen

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When I was growing up, (and come to think of it, as an adult) my family would get together and sometimes get quite boisterous.   From time to time when the volume would go slightly beyond the threshold our mom could stand, she would say, “Sshhh, listen kids” (and we were all kids regardless of our chronological age).   The “Sshhh” would catch us temporarily off guard and for a brief moment, there would be silence.  Taking that cue of silence, Mom would follow up by saying, “Ah, now doesn’t that sound better?”  When I was a kid, that comment would send me into a frustrated “gnaw on woodwork” state but now I genuinely understand and appreciate what she meant.

Today, our day to day world is so full of constant white noise invading our very being and often times it is, to coin a phrase “too noisy to hear ones’ self think”.  Why is it we feel the need to have something invariably blaring in our ears most of the day, whether it be music, the television or (wait for it…) your cell phone?  It is a wonder we can still hear, let alone listen…

Did you know there is a difference between hearing and actually listening?  Let me explain.  I have over the past decade or so been learning to really listen to someone in lieu of completely hearing them.  My old nemesis, Meniere’s disease has left me completely deaf on my right side; I can now actually turn a deaf ear if I want to.  I can even turn on my good ear at night and tune out thunderstorms!  During the process of dealing with my impending hearing loss, I had to find creative ways to compensate for not hearing correctly.  I found positioning myself on the right most end of a table allowed me to hear conversations better with my good left ear.  I developed some lip reading skills by turning the volume down on the TV and watching the mouths move as they annunciated words.  I also watched body language and facial expressions in addition to hearing voice to get a complete picture.  It was during this transition that I discovered that even though we might have good hearing, we are poor listeners.

Listening is an active sport where a participant has to surrender both some time and attention to the one attempting to communicate a thought.  Listening to a person takes not only the art of hearing what is being said with your ears but your brain and heart as well.  Maintaining eye contact and appropriately reading nonverbal body language as well as voice inflection can give you the complete picture of what the communicator is attempting to convey.  It takes setting aside the gift of time to properly listen and communicate; time we often either don’t have or are unwilling to give.

Today though, it appears that verbal communication is frequently replaced by an electronic forgery such as e-mail, texting, Facebook, tweeting, or even emoticons.  How often do those communications get misinterpreted?  Don’t get me wrong; these are very useful tools given the right circumstances. However, many times we use these methods as a surrogate instead of trying to develop whole meaningful relationships.  I am not talking about striking up a conversation with a stranger as much as your own friends and family.  How many times have you been around the dinner table and at least half of the family members were texting, scrolling or otherwise distracted instead of interacting with one another? It seems we have allowed our loved ones to become our intimate strangers.  Proverbs 25:12 (NIV) says “Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is the rebuke of a wise judge to a listening ear.”  It just seems that anymore, the parent is too busy trying to post their new favorite recipe on Facebook than to listen and give advice to their children who desperately need it.

I am only writing this because it is something I struggle with as well.  I don’t have it all together and constantly attempt to be a better listener.  It takes TIME…and common courtesy on our part to sit and listen.  To be perfectly honest, sometimes I find myself mentally playing a game of Double Dutch jump rope, attempting to find that point of entry where I could interject that awesome lack of wisdom I feel the urge to bestow on another instead of just listening…

Hhmmm…and how do we listen to God when we can’t even listen to our own loved ones with skin on.  Psalm 5:3 (NLT) states “Listen to my voice in the morning, LORD. Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly.”  When we pray to our Lord, we need to lift up our needs to Him and then wait…and listen perhaps?  And when we listen to His still small voice or hear Him speak through His word then what? James 1:22 (NIV) says “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.”  Take action…DO!!  That is not asking for or expecting any more than what we would from our own children when we give them instruction…right?

So Sshhh…LISTEN!!  You might be amazed what you will hear and learn…and be asked to take action…And it’s not too late to put down that device and give some time to those you love.  I’ve never heard anyone say before that “if I could have just tweeted one more time to that loved one before he or she died” but I have seen more than my share of bitter regrets at the graveside…”If I had just taken the time to visit more, to talk…to listen”.

 

Proverbs 19:20 (NIV) Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise.

Hope, Inspirational, Life, Love, new life

Little Hands and Tiny Feet–One Year Later

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Happy birthday little Crystal!  I can’t believe it has been a year since you arrived into our adult little world, changing us all and breathing in new life.  How the time has flown as you have grown from newborn, to infant and now toddler.

We call you the chameleon child for you have so many facial expressions that change in an instance, making you appear as different little girls; sometimes you look just like your mommy did at your age and sometimes more like your daddy in the eyes but you are always your unique self.  I cannot believe you still have your beautiful dark blue eyes while both of your parents have brown.  God truly made you special.

It is such a joy to see your little personality come forth, like a tightly wrapped rose bud beginning to open.  Your mischievous smile and those twinkling eyes betray your gentle persona.

Your grandma and I both count it a privilege to be able to live so close now and enjoy all the special little AND big moments in your life.  We will try hard not to spoil you too much but smother you with love and kisses…for one thing is crystal clear…you are loved…even more as the days go by!!

Crystal basket

Reflected below is the original post from last year…enjoy!!

On January 31st of 2015, I added another hat to life’s hat rack; that of being a new grandfather.  And as I ponder on what has transpired this past month, it has been nothing short of amazing how one small life can change the lives of so many others.

As this new twig has formed on our generational family tree and as this beautiful fragile bloom has blossomed in the dead of winter of our ordinary lives, so blossoms the hopes and prayers we all have for little Crystal Nicole.  For in the miracle of birth, all things are new, a blank slate presents itself to be scribed by the hilarity of life’s experiences.  And as a side benefit, we adult humans get to relive our childhood through the eyes of the child, to be rejuvenated by a simple giggle or an innocent goo.

The following lyrics were inspired by this beautiful imp who has completely imprinted upon my heart.

 

Little Hands and Tiny Feet

Written by Stephen R. Wilson

You came a little early but just in time for you

With reddish brown hair — eyes of deep blue,

From your small safe world to one filled with love

In your mama’s warm embrace and your daddy’s gentle hugs.

       Chorus:

Little hands and tiny feet

What will your future be,

For God has so much for you

His promises He brings,

For your journey has just begun

And your life is full of hope,

This one thing is crystal clear

You are loved.

Maybe you will follow your mommy

And try to fill her big shoes,

Influencing young lives and growing minds too

A teacher with grace and so much love to give,

Knowing we only have one life to live.

 

Perhaps like your daddy you will be

Inquisitive about life and all that it brings,

Embracing the riches of life’s simple things

Whether it is fishing, shooting or digging for treasure

His devotion to you cannot be measured.

 

Chorus:

Little hands and tiny feet

What will your future be,

For God has so much for you

His promises He brings,

For your journey has just begun

And your life is full of hope,

This one thing is crystal clear

You are loved.

You see it really does not matter who you turn out to be

As long as you follow in the steps of the One,

For He will direct your paths and lead the way

To make you the woman you are destined to become.

 

So enjoy your little life with all its’ pleasures

Run and play, giggle and laugh, be a kid inside forever,

Love with all your heart, your loved ones around you

For with wrinkle-wrapped eyes we are watching you too,

With broad smiles, love-filled hearts and high hopes for your future

It has become crystal clear—you are loved!

 

Chorus:

Little hands and tiny feet

What will your future be,

For God has so much for you

His promises He brings,

For your journey has just begun

And your life is full of hope,

This one thing is crystal clear

You are loved.

Just chillin

 

Photograph by Joy Davis Photography

Accountability, Christian, Christianity, God, Humor, Inspirational, Life

Resisting the Temptation to put it in Reverse

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Mounds bars

Wow, it’s the New Year already!  And, I bet like most folks, you still have remnants of Christmas joy jiggling around your midsection.  This is the time of year when so many people run around with a new gym membership in one hand and a weight loss membership in the other, all in hopes of becoming that perfect specimen of a human once again.  New Year’s resolutions this time of year are as plentiful as political promises and evaporate just as fast.

I personally don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions; I believe they are nothing more than imaginary manmade cliffs used to hurl oneself off upon the craggy rocks of self pity down below after one breaks one’s resolution.  I would rather rely on realistic goals, both short and long term.  But even realistic goals can become subject to neglect; goals can take a tremendous amount of time and energy to achieve the intended results and many times, we just don’t want to expend that kind of energy; we want to go back where it’s easy and comfortable.  Proverbs 26:11 (NASB) says, “Like a dog that returns to its vomit Is a fool who repeats his folly.”  Even though this scripture relates to Christians who turn away from God, back to their old sinful lives, this could very well describe our own actions when we are on a very productive worthwhile course and for whatever reason, suddenly stop and revert back to our old habits or ways of doing things whether that be bellying back up to the Double Stuffed Oreos or being a couch potato once again.

Here is another, more graphic analogy I can think of when I turn my back from what I know I should be doing for my own good.  This happens to also involve a dog, MY dog.  We love our dog and we want to make sure she is safe and healthy.  Therefore, we feed her good healthy dog food that does not contain anything that she is allergic to or would harm her.  We even give her wheat Chex as treats because they are healthier for her.  But for whatever reason there are times when she ingests what she just eliminated.  And for those folks who just didn’t understand that, to be blunt, she eats her own poop…there, I said it!  It’s like she sees the invisible “Hot and Now” sign in the yard and away she goes, chowing down on her own backyard Mounds bar.  Unlike others who might appreciate her “recycling” attempts, we as her “parents” are embarrassed to even admit that our own little Izzy could be so disgusting.  I mean, what would the neighbors think?  Not to mention, wet sloppy face kisses are out of the question for awhile…you see, when we regress back to our old bad habits like the above disgusting scenario,  it really does stink and leaves a bad taste in our mouths!

So how do we stay on course?  First of all, I think we need to look at the end product, the goal, the prize, the end game.  Is what we are attempting to achieve realistic or just a pipe dream?  For instance, at 58, it may not be healthy for me to go back to what I weighed when I was eighteen because bodies change and mature as we grow older. In fact, at this point in time in my life, I would have to cut off all my limbs and shave my back hair to get to that weight; but I could at least lose the weight I need to be healthier.  Envision the benefits of losing that weight, putting down that pack of cigarettes or bottle or whatever destructive behavior you need to be released from.

Next, find someone you can trust to be accountable; someone that will have your back through this journey and who won’t let you off the hook, ready to give you that “tough love” when you need it as well as the encouragement to stay the course.  Make sure you communicate to that someone what your eventual goal is as well as the short term goals or markers along the way so they can help you meet those goals and be successful.  And remember, DO NO HARM—your friend/advocate/sponsor is only trying to help and you did select them, right?

Finally, it wouldn’t hurt to dive in to the Bible and devotionals for added encouragement.  There are many encouraging scriptures to meditate and revitalize your spirit.  But saving the best for last, how about prayer?  God always knows what we need, when we need it and the Holy Spirit can guide you through life’s challenges like no human can.  After all, God wants us to be our best as He intended so we can do our best for Him.

So the next time you feel tempted to put it in reverse and once again pick up that “Mounds bar” of a bad habit, just remember, some things are meant to be left behind in the grass, forgotten…just saying…

 

Philippians 4:8 (NASB)– Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NASB) — Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

Accountability, Christian, Christianity, Forgiveness, God, Hope, Humor, Inspirational, Life, Love, Spirituality

Well, that’s not FAIR!!

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surprised smiley

As I was growing up, our family never really had a whole lot of material things to hold on to.   In fact, my youngest sister and I still joke about being so poor, all we had were catfish heads to play with instead of toys.   But what we did have made all the difference in shaping our lives to adulthood.  We had food on the table, we were clean, we wore clean clothes even though they were seldom brand new, and we had love in our home.  We learned how to count and perform basic math in our heads by playing dominoes.  We were taught respect, how to use our common sense, and the necessity to implement the common courtesies we learned along the way.  I’ll never forget one of those “lessons learned”.

One day when I was just a boy, my mom and I were walking down the sidewalk in our small town, running errands.  I was walking to mom’s left side and she quickly corrected me by urging my slight frame to her other side.  I looked at her a little puzzled and she saw the question on my face.  “Men and boys are ALWAYS supposed to walk on the outside of the female, closest to the street” she responded with a matter of fact persona that begged the question “why”?  Mom’s response was enough to send me into a tailspin.  “Well, because if a car swerved toward the sidewalk, it would hit the male first as protector, protecting the fairer sex.”  “Well, that’s not fair!!”, I screamed inside my mind as I had mental images of being sprawled out in the middle of the street, teeth littered around my body as the maiden in distress stood over my lifeless form, hands clasped together and pressed to one of her cheeks declaring, “my HERO!”

It took me more than a few years to completely understand what Mom was trying to teach me in that moment.  You see, we all have the grave responsibility to be more than what we are; to step out of ourselves, our comfort zones, and to be made available to meet other’s needs; even up to and including death.  What parent wouldn’t think twice about running into a burning home to rescue their children but what about your special needs neighbor?  What about the stranger you see every day walking to work because they can’t afford a means to get from point A to point B?

The news this past couple of weeks has been full of unsung heroes doing what they did not because of a possible fifteen minutes of fame or a handshake and “atta boy” from our POTUS but because it was the right thing to do.  Whether it was the hero who would rather take seven bullets from a madman than to fathom another life lost or the stranger in South Carolina who went from door to door in his boat, trying to save anyone in need instead of thinking about his own loss of property, there are true heroes out there but there needs to be more.

Here is another example.  Jesus Christ was sent here from His home to dwell among strangers and haters, not because He enjoyed deprecation but because it was the right thing to do; not only was He being obedient to His Father but He loved/loves us with a fierce love we cannot comprehend.  Jesus had the ultimate reason to cry out “well, that’s not Fair!!” as He hung from that cross, completely broken and humiliated, bleeding and aching from the weight of OUR sin.  Perfect love conquered His own need for preservation as a man on this earth so we wouldn’t have to suffer an eternal separation from the One who made us, our heavenly Father.

What about you and me?  Isn’t it time we turn away from the deceptive mirror of self we have been staring in to far too long and instead, peer out the window of our safe, selfish little cocoon to a world full of need.  And even though we can’t save the whole world, why don’t we just start with the world around us; our city, our neighborhood, our own home.  Pray for the courage to be THAT person who makes a difference, that man or woman who is brave enough to put away the “Me-Me’s” and embrace the unique needs of others.

As for the lesson learned so long ago, I still irritate the people around me, stepping forward to open the door for a lady, whether they be nine or ninety or to walk on the outside, closest to the street.  You see, the common courtesies have been engrained in my very being along with another sentiment; sometimes life isn’t fair…but life is a privilege and passes too soon so we have to make the most of every opportunity to serve those around us.

John 15:12-15 (NIV)– My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.  You are my friends if you do what I command.  I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

Accountability, Christian, Christianity, God, Humor, Inspirational, Life, Spirituality

Imitators

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Over the edge 2

Our granddaughter is almost eight months old now and is beginning to imitate other’s actions such as waving bye and attempting to move her finger up and down across her lips while making noises; she prefers her entire fist though, resulting in a saliva fest.  It seems our entire life is spent either following someone else’s example or being a role model for someone else to follow.

I remember growing up during my influential years in the 1960’s and 70’s where everyone seemed to be expressing one’s self in different ways.  Smoking was one of those things taken for granted and a lot of my family participated in this freedom to inhale toxic fumes.

Living in the country afforded a few freedoms as well.  For instance, the freedom to burn trash in the open air.  Being the imitator as a kid but without having the means to try smoking with an actual cigarette, I found some dry hollow reeds down along the creek bank by the square brick burning pit while I was burning trash one day.  The gray-white fibers of the reeds resembled the white paper of the cancer stick.  I decided I wanted to look and act as cool as my older siblings so I broke off a four inch section of the reed and put the tip of the “cigarette” in the flames until the end glowed red from the embers.  I put the imitation cigarette to my mouth like I had seen others do many times before and inhaled.

What happened next was nothing less than life changing.  Small flames entered my throat along with smoky air, singeing my esophagus in the process.  My eyes grew wide from the pain as well as the smoky pungent smell of burning reed racing down my lungs. I involuntarily coughed uncontrollably, the blackish gray smoke bellowing out as if more anxious to rise to the surface than I was to get it out so I could breathe again.  I stood there, continuing to cough violently as well as mentally kicking myself across the yard.  I desperately glanced in all directions to see if anyone else had witnessed the blatant stupidity of a young boy trying to imitate the foolishness of others.

Fast forward more than a couple of decades and I find myself once again in the present, hopefully much more wiser and aware of the consequences of imitating others or following someone’s example without first analyzing and reasoning out their intentions and possible negative outcomes.  However, I am greatly concerned and have been for some time that it seems many blindly follow and imitate the latest trends, fads, popular people in the spotlight, and yes, even governmental politics bent toward entitlement and socialism without first stepping back for even a split second to think of the eventual consequences of said blind following.

Don’t you think it is past time to be the responsible, accountable “grown-ups” we are supposed to be and pray to again become the examples of those growing up around us?  And before you judge me for seemingly being such a self-righteous hypocrite, brandishing my pistol of one-sided opinions, may I remind you that I only write what is on my heart that God is also speaking to me; I’m certainly aware of my own shortcomings—and I need help.

Ephesians 5:1-2(ESV) reads, “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.  And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” What an awesome reminder of whom we should imitate constantly in thought, word, and deed so we have a chance to be that example others are looking for to follow.  And now that I find myself in the position of tribal elder in our little family nucleus, I am once again reminded of the grave responsibility we have as humans to impress upon our next generation not only the common courtesies and manners of life, the do’s and don’ts that separate the civilized from the savages but especially the eternal.  For it is only through the grace of God that we are still here, breathing on this earth and it is only by His mercy through His son Jesus Christ that we have a hope for a future far better than our present circumstances.

The next time you see a child doing something they shouldn’t, even to the point of foolishly ingesting noxious fumes from a weed, fight the inner adult child within that wants to sit back and see what happens so you can be entertained, and use this as a time of instruction, of lovingly guiding that student on to a better path of wisdom and understanding.   And remember, those eyes are on you whether you want them to be or not, imitating your every move; make the most of it.

Proverbs 14:12 (ESV)—There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.

Christian, Christianity, God, Hearing, Hope, Humor, Inspirational, Life, Listening, Spirituality

Lost in Translation

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ILoveNY

Sometimes in life, we are misunderstood for whatever reason and the results can be disastrous…or hilarious.  Even the best intentions can be misconstrued and the end game can often times mean an unintended conflict.  We are so caught up in the day to day distractions, especially the invasive home invader called the cell phone, that often times we only hear half of a question asked or the conversation going on around you.  Some folks get quite offended when your response is somewhat different from what was expected because we just didn’t listen.

Unfortunately, this is familiar grounds for me these days.  I am completely deaf in my right ear due to an unwanted nemesis called Meniere’s Disease.  At times, depending on the noise level around me, I need to watch someone’s lips when they talk to aid in “hearing” what they are saying.  I DO want to know what they are trying to communicate or convey, so many times I have to ask the person to please repeat part or all of the question or conversation.  For instance, someone might say, “Have a good day” and I might hear and interpret, “I need a dozen eggs”…yep I know, it can be amusing to hear a response to a phrase lost in translation.

Recently, my wife and I experienced another type of miscommunication.  Jenny’s birthday was coming up and I wanted to get her something special to commemorate our move to North Carolina.  I jumped on Amazon and perused the possibilities and landed on a T-shirt that read, “I Love (it was actually a heart) North Carolina.  Her favorite color is purple so I ordered the T-shirt in the appropriate size and color, and took in account the lead time of two weeks to receive the precious surprise gift.

Periodically, I would go out to check on the progress of the shipment, and it always reflected the same “in transit” response.  I waited through the two week time frame and still no package OR any way to communicate to the company to inquire about shipment.  A couple of days later, the package was finally delivered.  I pulled the garment out of the plastic shipment bag and held it up for examination.  The T-shirt was two sizes smaller than ordered even though the tag reflected the appropriate size.  The white lettering bled into the purple background and now appeared a muddy gray.  Needless to say, I was not a happy camper.

I began the arbitration process with the Chinese manufacturer, explained what we had actually received and communicated our displeasure with the product.  Their response was a lack of ownership and it was evident we were going nowhere fast.  The litany of e-mails back and forth went on for a week before I contacted Amazon concerning the situation and received a full refund within 24 hours.

Three days after the resolution by Amazon, I received another e-mail from the company reflected below, as copied directly from the e-mail: (It’s better to read this mentally using an Asian accent) “Dear buyer,   We are afraid that you are a little misunderstand us. We have figured out the problem,and we can resend you a new one. Of course ,this time you do not have to repay again. And we promise the image printed on the shirt will be better. To be frank ,our company is a new one,and we tried our best to improve the quality. Now the printed technology is much better than before. Hope you can reconsider it. Thank you so much!”

I relented and sent an approval response along with a suggestion that they send the product two sizes larger than requested earlier.  Six weeks later, we received another plastic shipping envelope from China with another purple T-shirt tucked inside.  When Jenny pulled out the fabric “treasure”, it was two sizes smaller than the one originally sent with the caption “I Love NY” emblazoned across the chest along with a silhouette of the Statue of Liberty and other snippets of the New York skyline.  Who doesn’t want or need an “I LOVE NY” shirt, right?  We both stared at each other and burst out laughing as we pondered whether to find a very petite lover of purple who just happened to have a desire to tour New York or just keep it back for our granddaughter as a sleep shirt.  Something was definitely lost in translation…

Sometimes I have a problem understanding the will of God and where He is leading me; it almost feels like I’m almost spiritually deaf; I just don’t seem to have an understanding or appreciation for where God has taken me so far or that He IS continuing to lead me on toward His will.  Proverbs 2:2-5 (ESV) states,  Making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.  That gives me comfort as I continue praying for that understanding.  I definitely don’t want my spiritual life to be “lost in translation”.

I’m still waiting for an e-mail back from the manufacturer asking if we are satisfied with the awesome new replacement but I’m sure if they were to ask for a picture of their “improved quality product”, someone in China would have a face as red as the heart on that “special” shirt.  This is just a simple reminder that we are ALL fallible human beings.  Even those living on the other side of the world…

Christian, Christianity, God, Hope, Humor, Inspirational, Life, new life, Patience, Spirituality

Transplants—Cultivating the Best from Change

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wilted

My wife and I are weekend garden warriors who like to piddle in the yard whenever we get the chance. Our new home is basically a blank slate on the outside and I’m sure we will have red clay up to our elbows in no time. But it seems no matter how long we have been gardeners, there appears to be a mystery surrounding the act of transplanting.

Depending on the flora species, most plants get a little touchy about having their root system manhandled.  Many times, they tend to be perfectly happy in their root bound state and transplanting that plant to a new, different, larger home may result in a temporary sagging of leaves and pretty much a visually sad state. You see, the plant needs time to scope out the new soil, stretch out its roots in the larger expanse, and nibble on the new aromatic fertilizer but temporarily as a result, some of the leaves may get droopy and yellowed and the whole plant may seem depressed. It doesn’t understand that in the long run, this change is necessary for its very survival.

My wife and I have been experiencing some droopiness of our own. For you see, our physical move has been very much like that displaced vegetation. And even though we DO know long term it will be very beneficial for us, the adjustments to the physical surroundings, culture, and lifestyle are sometimes pretty overwhelming. “What do you mean you don’t have a Gold Star Chili or donut shops down here?” But we both know who the master potter is and that He will give us exactly what we need, when we need it so we can continue to grow and bloom for Him. However, the fertilizer, the spiritual nourishment we most desperately need to grow bigger and better than ever before is yet to be determined; we need a church home.

Whether you are a believer in Christ or not, attempting to integrate or graft one’s self into the right living organism called the local church is as important as finding the right sized pot and proper fertilizer for a houseplant and the very act of finding a church home is not a small feat. You cannot force yourself in to just any environment and expect to grow spiritually. Many times due to traditions (we have always done it this way), infighting, or just a simple lack of vision, a church body can become stagnant and unhealthy. Maybe in those circumstances, a little weeding needs to be done. And on the other end of the spectrum, a growing, vibrant church can be just too “busy” to cultivate and nurture the souls of new converts or those looking for a church; they may have a “live long and prosper, now scoot!!” or “danger, stranger!” mentality that leaves the individual wondering what just happened. Yep, sometimes even a healthy church “plant” becomes too large and needs to be separated and replanted from the main plant to remain healthy.

We have confidence that God, our master Gardener, has the perfect spiritual “garden” in mind and that He will plant us among other believers in His time, all different but yet the same, to grow and prosper for His glory and purpose. And even though the act of being transplanted to a new “pot” can be more than a little stressful and yes, painful at times, we can cultivate the best from change and grow to appreciate its’ abundant rewards.

But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.  2 Peter 3:18 ESV

For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.  Romans12:4-5 NASB

 

Christian, Christianity, God, Hope, Humor, Inspirational, Life, Patience, Spirituality

Perfect Imperfections

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Stone Faced

I have a little confession to make…I’m a left-handed, Appalachian, perfectionist.  And while you might have mental images of a barefoot southpaw, the last confession item has been a real pain in my life for most of my life.  I want everything right in its place; symmetrical—perfect.  But then reality hits; we are not perfect—not even close in thought, word or deed.

I am quite aware of my own imperfections.  Some mornings, I stagger into the bathroom, gaze into the honesty mirror and utter a silent “Oh Lord, what are we going to do with”that” today?”  I am way too aware that I resemble more of a peach pit than Brad Pitt.  The years have successfully tap danced a fast paced number across my body.  Nature has a nasty sense of humor and it seems she is currently laughing hysterically.  How else can I explain having both gray hair AND acne at the same time?  My teeth have shifted around as if they are aligned on some active fault line.  My joints are starting to crack so much that when I stand up our dog jumps and scampers away…

I have tried to remedy some of these physical imperfections in the past.  One year, a day before our trip to Disney World, I decided to go with a more youthful look and had my hair and goatee dyed.  The stylist made a drastic mistake with the hair color and I walked out looking like Juan Valdez!  I was more than embarrassed as we walked through the Magic Kingdom donning my new black pelt; even the Hispanics were pointing and laughing…could it have been because my light brown Andy Rooney brows were sticking out like a sore thumb?  I have since embraced the gray—at least I still have hair…and as another side benefit, I occasionally get an accidental senior discount!

As the old adage states, “Nobody’s perfect” and what a true statement that is! However, sometimes we use that very statement as an excuse to not do the very thing God is urging us to do.  The Bible is chock full of examples where imperfect people were being used by God for His purpose.  Moses had a speech impediment, David had a thing for bathing beauties, and even Saul/Paul had a self-righteous indignation toward Christians to the point of persecution.  2 Corinthians 12:9 (NASB) reads–And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.  Another words, we need to accept our frailties, our imperfections, our weaknesses and allow God to use these fallible traits for His purpose and glory.  But as a caveat, just know that when you decide to say “yes” and follow whatever God would have you do, you will never be the same.  For God does not want to leave us “Just As I Am” , rather He wants us to be more Christ-like.  Philippians 1:6 (NASB) reads, For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. 

So tell me, isn’t it time you took a good look in your own internal honesty mirror?  What personal imperfections or weaknesses has God wanted to use of yours that would be perfect for His purpose?  Truth be told, God wants your entire package of perfect imperfections…and mine.  And as for my perfectionism, God and I are still working on it.  I have not mastered it completely which my wife can attest as I follow behind her during cleaning and straighten up all the pictures on the walls…

Christian, Christianity, Forgiveness, God, Hope, Humor, Inspirational, Life, Spirituality

Living the Trashy Life

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dumpster

There is an unofficial sport known worldwide but yet goes pretty much completely unnoticed. These pseudo athletes do not appear on cereal boxes nor do they get pricey endorsements. You can normally see these “thrill seekers” meandering around neighborhoods near college campuses in late summer to early fall but they can be found anywhere at any time. Who is this elite group of daring individuals you might ask? Dumpster divers…

For some of you, this term brings on a snicker and an involuntary head shake but for others, well, they are feeling their face grow warm as the emotion of embarrassment overtakes them. These “divers” cross over socioeconomic lines and you may be surprised who around you has taken “the plunge” one time or another.

Ok, and now for the true confession….been there, done that. It was circa 1980 and my wife and I were about as poor as our government leader’s morals. We were living in Franklin House apartments just around the building from our complex’ dumpster. One day coming home from work, I spied an exercise bike sitting beside of the grime laden dumpster. I debated for a while and decided to investigate further, eyeing the primitive pedaling apparatus up and down with a critical eye. Not finding anything wrong with the piece of equipment, I looked all around me for prying eyes, picked up the bike, and cantered off to our apartment like a dog with a new bone in its’ mouth.

I beamed with pride as I showed my new bride the find of the decade. She returned my look with a suspicious glare. I mounted my mechanical steed and started pedaling, my upper body lunging back and forth in rhythmic procession. Suddenly my rhythm was disrupted by a crack of metal and my body being hurled toward the now exposed post of the defunct exercise bike; I narrowly missed impaling my at the time, slight, terrified frame on the “pedals of death”. My thrill was replaced with humiliation as I sheepishly picked up the now evident piece of garbage and retraced my steps back to its’ rightful owner, the lowly dumpster.

There is another type of dumpster diving that is far more destructive which I dare say is one of an unforgiving heart.   I think at times, we all have been guilty of holding a grudge or carrying a hurt left by another. And how many times have we heard the name of the person who committed the offense only to trigger something inside that entices us to dive into the deepest recesses of our minds to the dumpster of unforgiveness. Once there, you plunge in to the deep bin of bitterness laden with the stench of resentment, scrambling to find that one rotting memory so you can once again experience the painful sting of the event. Once relived, you carefully place the decaying memory exactly where you found it so you can easily retrieve it later; feeling justified in your righteous indignation and condemnation of the offender, you once again snap back into reality. When will we realize that we cannot inflict harm upon the ghosts of the past; we are only hemorrhaging our souls. Only our forgiveness of others can neutralize the pain of those excruciating memories and only Jesus can sterilize our hearts and place our hurts in the proper perspective of being healed memories and lessons learned.

And unlike my botched attempt at turning trash to treasure, there are many who have successfully found the unwanted, underappreciated waste of humanity and have turned the items into something beautiful and useful again. Hhhmmm…sounds just like Jesus; He’s in the restoration business, turning our sinful lives into bright, beacons of hope and grace.

So what about you? Isn’t it time to shed those rags of self-pity and breathe in the pristine, life changing air of forgiveness? For life is too short to allow bitterness and unforgiveness to rob us of our joy and zest for life that God so freely gives…

 

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32 NIV

Christian, Christianity, God, Hope, Inspirational, Life, Patience, Spirituality, Waiting

Pacing in the Waiting Room

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hash marks

I haven’t been writing lately…what an understatement as my mind has been absent of clarity for what seems like weeks. You see, my wife and I have been on a journey where we feel compelled to make a physical move to North Carolina. For months we have planned and worked toward that goal, knowing that in early 2015 the transition would be complete; and then nothing. It seemed that God had become silent on the whole issue and the promising job opportunities dried up like a plant devoid of moisture.

We suddenly found ourselves wandering around in the waiting room of life and it feels a little like the following scenario. You are dazed and confused, trying to figure out how you landed in the small monochrome hued room. You look all around to examine every detail of the dingy holding cell; the out-of-date magazines strewn about and the unmistakable wear patterns on the dirty putty colored commercial grade carpeting where others before you had paced back and forth, burdened with the same abstract state of confusion that is momentarily swallowing up your very being. You desperately look for a way out but all you find on the walls are hash marks where others counted their days in captivity. What I failed to notice was the door on the other end of the room with the old polished brass door knob. I turned the knob and walked through the door only to find out the door knob was only on the inside…

You see, I could have left my bondage any time I wanted…IF I had stopped pacing in the waiting room long enough to listen to that still small voice I had followed all along. God’s voice was the one we heard that stirred the initial sense of urgency in our souls. His voice was the same voice that urged us to plant those tulip bulbs in the fall because they would look great in the spring when the realtor took pictures of our property in preparation for our home sale. During that time of wandering, one of my siblings simply stated something she had heard…“Patience is waiting for God’s perfect timing”. At the time, I was just thankful she lived far enough away from me so I wouldn’t have the opportunity to smack the snot out of her…but she was right!

And here we are; we met with the realtors and the pictures were taken of our property, including the beautiful multi-colored double tulips we planted last fall. We gave the nod on a Sunday afternoon to put our home on the market. On Monday morning, I received an e-mail from Lifeway Christian Stores with an article from John Ortberg entitled, “Ready or Not…” and began with ““Feeling ready” is highly overrated. God is looking for obedience.” The article continues on explaining how we don’t necessarily need all of our ducks in a row; we just need to be obedient. This was really good to hear as we were taking on this faith builder without a job waiting for me as we continue this adventure.

On Monday afternoon, our house appeared on the different MLS related web sites. We received a request for a showing the next day and by late afternoon, had an offer for the asking price. We signed the contract on Wednesday morning and started the process toward the June 12th closing date.

The buyers who were looking at our home on that Tuesday arrived forty-five minutes early. Not knowing who the individuals were walking around the property, my wife introduced herself as she headed out the door with the dog. As it turns out, the buyers had been looking for quite some time for a house that suited their needs but always came up empty. The husband mentioned to Jenny that our home “just fell in their laps”.

And for the icing on the cake, God had laid on my heart some time ago a figure we needed to get from the equity of the house to apply to our next home in North Carolina. As it turns out, when all is said and done, there will be enough “equity” for that amount plus enough to pay off our car.

Some may say this past week has just been a series of fortunate coincidences; I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this has all been a God thing!! So please use this “lesson learned” and remember; the next time you find yourself in life’s waiting room, don’t pace…stop, drop, and pray your way out…then listen…and obey.

 

Psalm 37:7-9 ESV— Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices! Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil. For the evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land.

Part two of this blog can be found under “Pacing in the Waiting Room Part Deux”