Category Archives: Humor

Humor, Inspirational, Life, Love, Mom, Mother, Mother's Day

In Honor of Mothers

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Mother’s Day is coming upon us especially fast this year, being particularly early on the calendar.  And as everyone is rushing around attempting to find that perfect card and tangible something special, I have to just sit back and remember my own Mom who passed three years ago.

She was indeed a strong woman who lived simply, loved unconditionally and had a sharp wit and childlike humor that took some folks aback just a little.  As I think about mom, I cannot be sad for I know I will see her again someday.  So this year, I am going to think upon Mom and smile, remembering all the good times and some of the quips she would throw out that would bring an instant smile to our faces.

After our mom passed, my family compiled a list of quips and sayings, nuggets of simple wisdom our mom would often recite.  Reflected below, are some of those statements followed by my struggling attempt to explain them.

I dedicate this to all the moms out there.  If you are reading this and you are celebrating with your mom on Sunday, give her a tighter squeeze and an extra “I Love You!!”  For our time here is short and you never know when your casual goodbye to your loved one might just be your last.  If you are like many of us, remembering our moms with fondness who have gone on, may this bring a smile to YOUR face as you remember your loved one.

 

MOM—isms

We all have memories of different things our Mom used to say that sticks out in our minds.  Here are a few of them you may have heard:

 “Time to gidddddup!!” – an irritating way of trying to rouse us out of bed in the morning.

“It’s bedtime for babies like you…” – another irritating way of telling us it was time for bed when we were kids.

“Kids, this just ain’t right!”—exclamation for anything that didn’t appear ok…

“I washed as far as possible”—enough said…

“What in the Sam Hill?” or “Where in the Sam Hill”—Exclamation!!!

“For Pete’s sake!” —Exclamation!!!

“I’ve got to worsh the deeshes”—Appalachian mom speak for “I have to wash the dishes”.

“Now kids…you’ve done too much!”—used at Christmas time to exclaim she had too many gifts…

“Time to get the bed clothes on” – time to put on your pajamas.

“Listen kids….aaahhhhh quiet…” – Mom’s way of stating she needed peace.  Also mom’s way of making her kids go hole-in-the-wall crazy.

“There will always be weather, whether or not”—enough said…

“If IFs and ANDs were pots and pans, there would be no need for tinkers”—another saying that would make her kids go hole-in-the-wall crazy.

“Ride Shank’s pony”—Exclamation when you didn’t have any transportation.

“Would you like a half-cake of gum?”—Wrigley’s Doublemint peppermint sticks…yum!?

“There’s no sense in it”—It doesn’t make sense

“Can’t died in the poor house”—No explanation needed here.

“I am so full I could not pull, even a blade of grass” – “Boy, am I stuffed!!”

“Don’t choke chicken”—kinda self explanatory, huh?

“You simple kids!”—yep…

“Are you kidding me?” – are you pulling my leg?

“Now kids, quit worrying about me!” – Shhuuttt UUpppp!!

“Oh my word!” – Exclamatory

“Pussy wants her corner.” – “That’s my seat..please get up now!”

“Every hen thinks her chicks are the best” – Everyone’s proud of their own.

“Don’t you feel sorry for this old woman?” – Trying to get sympathy when losing in a game.

“Sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite.” – UCK!!

“Eat your food, people in China are starving…” – …and we wonder where our fat cells came from.

And the prayer our family always said before meals:

God is Great, God is Good

And we thank Him for our food

By His goodness, all are fed

Give us Lord, our daily bread. Amen!

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Accountability, Christian, Christianity, Diet, God, Hope, Humor, Inspirational, Life, Patience, Transformation, weight

The Devil’s Food Made Me Do It

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425It happened just this morning without warning.  I was quietly perusing my e-mails and there it was; a notice from my doctor’s office that I have an upcoming appointment on Wednesday morning.  A sickening sense of loathing enveloped my very being as I mentally went through the clinical dialogue that would occur.  “Oh, it looks like you have gained a little weight since your last visit” the doctor would say with furrowed brow; this profound message coming from a healthcare provider with a physique resembling a pretzel stick with hair.

I know I need to lose weight; this problem is literally right in front of me.  Corinthians 6:19-20 says, “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” HHhhmmmm…even though I have not defaced this temple with graffiti in the form of tattoos, it appears as though I’m attempting to build on an annex to that temple the scripture was talking about.

Currently, I have the perfect Bubba body.  This body type looks remarkably like a Buddha body, including the distended belly but since I now live in the South and wear a lot of plaid shirts I thought the phrase “Bubba body” made more sense.

I actually took steps to begin an exercise program before Christmas.  I purchased a previously owned elliptical machine from my daughter and son-in-law since I was used to using one at the YMCA some time ago.  I climbed aboard and was worn out in no time; then I started moving my legs up and down and really got winded…baby steps, baby steps…I even purchased some resistance bands from Amazon for Christmas.  I always thought the term “resistance band” was an indicator it was time to go up a size in underwear.  Now I know they are nothing more than giant rubber bands with handles that provide resistance to your muscle groups.  They also hurt REALLY badly when you accidentally let go of one of the handles.

It is not like I haven’t been successful losing weight in the past.  I lost almost fifty pounds through Weight Watchers around five years ago.  There were times I even went as far as to schedule my blood donation the afternoon before the “weigh in”.  (Did you know a unit of blood weighs a little more than one pound?)  I also took off my shoes, belt, and contents from my pockets and even got a haircut if I thought it would make a difference at the scales.  I finally reached my goal weight and became a lifetime member which is when the struggle began.  The other participants didn’t really care that you were on the maintenance program.  I mean, how could you share your successes in a room full of scathing looks and snarling teeth?  I guess I could have sweetened them up with a box of donuts…

I blame the Devil for my plumpness as I consider anything that tastes so good but is so bad for me as Devil’s food.  For what pain and suffering must one go through to resist luscious chocolate or the smell and taste of fresh baked yeast bread slathered in butter?  It must be inherently evil to tempt mere humans as it does.  And don’t forget the Devil’s henchmen; the seductress Little Debbie or the conniving Sara Lee or even the sly Sister Schubert.  They are all out to get us!

Of course to be perfectly honest, it is I who is ultimately responsible for what goes in this mouth of mine.  Paul may not have had weight in mind when he wrote in Romans 7:15 (NIV)—“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” , I find this passage fits in this particular part of my life at the moment.  For it seems so difficult to eat wisely when I know I should but so easy to slide a Big Mac down my throat. And even though I don’t relish the thought of sitting in front of a plate whose contents look more like a Chia pet than real food, I have to take control of my intake and make better food choices.  It is a matter of being disciplined and accountable, two powerful but seldom used words in our society.  It is a matter of making time for exercise and using portion control to win this particular race.  So here I go, making an effort to make God’s temple once again what it should be; fit and ready for service.

So wish me luck!  (…hhmmm…wish…wishbone….wishbone dressing…BLEU CHEESE!!…I’m doomed…)

Accountability, Christian, Christianity, God, Humor, Inspirational, Life

Resisting the Temptation to put it in Reverse

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Mounds bars

Wow, it’s the New Year already!  And, I bet like most folks, you still have remnants of Christmas joy jiggling around your midsection.  This is the time of year when so many people run around with a new gym membership in one hand and a weight loss membership in the other, all in hopes of becoming that perfect specimen of a human once again.  New Year’s resolutions this time of year are as plentiful as political promises and evaporate just as fast.

I personally don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions; I believe they are nothing more than imaginary manmade cliffs used to hurl oneself off upon the craggy rocks of self pity down below after one breaks one’s resolution.  I would rather rely on realistic goals, both short and long term.  But even realistic goals can become subject to neglect; goals can take a tremendous amount of time and energy to achieve the intended results and many times, we just don’t want to expend that kind of energy; we want to go back where it’s easy and comfortable.  Proverbs 26:11 (NASB) says, “Like a dog that returns to its vomit Is a fool who repeats his folly.”  Even though this scripture relates to Christians who turn away from God, back to their old sinful lives, this could very well describe our own actions when we are on a very productive worthwhile course and for whatever reason, suddenly stop and revert back to our old habits or ways of doing things whether that be bellying back up to the Double Stuffed Oreos or being a couch potato once again.

Here is another, more graphic analogy I can think of when I turn my back from what I know I should be doing for my own good.  This happens to also involve a dog, MY dog.  We love our dog and we want to make sure she is safe and healthy.  Therefore, we feed her good healthy dog food that does not contain anything that she is allergic to or would harm her.  We even give her wheat Chex as treats because they are healthier for her.  But for whatever reason there are times when she ingests what she just eliminated.  And for those folks who just didn’t understand that, to be blunt, she eats her own poop…there, I said it!  It’s like she sees the invisible “Hot and Now” sign in the yard and away she goes, chowing down on her own backyard Mounds bar.  Unlike others who might appreciate her “recycling” attempts, we as her “parents” are embarrassed to even admit that our own little Izzy could be so disgusting.  I mean, what would the neighbors think?  Not to mention, wet sloppy face kisses are out of the question for awhile…you see, when we regress back to our old bad habits like the above disgusting scenario,  it really does stink and leaves a bad taste in our mouths!

So how do we stay on course?  First of all, I think we need to look at the end product, the goal, the prize, the end game.  Is what we are attempting to achieve realistic or just a pipe dream?  For instance, at 58, it may not be healthy for me to go back to what I weighed when I was eighteen because bodies change and mature as we grow older. In fact, at this point in time in my life, I would have to cut off all my limbs and shave my back hair to get to that weight; but I could at least lose the weight I need to be healthier.  Envision the benefits of losing that weight, putting down that pack of cigarettes or bottle or whatever destructive behavior you need to be released from.

Next, find someone you can trust to be accountable; someone that will have your back through this journey and who won’t let you off the hook, ready to give you that “tough love” when you need it as well as the encouragement to stay the course.  Make sure you communicate to that someone what your eventual goal is as well as the short term goals or markers along the way so they can help you meet those goals and be successful.  And remember, DO NO HARM—your friend/advocate/sponsor is only trying to help and you did select them, right?

Finally, it wouldn’t hurt to dive in to the Bible and devotionals for added encouragement.  There are many encouraging scriptures to meditate and revitalize your spirit.  But saving the best for last, how about prayer?  God always knows what we need, when we need it and the Holy Spirit can guide you through life’s challenges like no human can.  After all, God wants us to be our best as He intended so we can do our best for Him.

So the next time you feel tempted to put it in reverse and once again pick up that “Mounds bar” of a bad habit, just remember, some things are meant to be left behind in the grass, forgotten…just saying…

 

Philippians 4:8 (NASB)– Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NASB) — Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

Accountability, Christian, Christianity, God, Hope, Humor, Inspirational, Life, Listening, Love, Spirituality

Crying Fowl

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Rooster

Have you ever had one of those days where everything seemed to make you jump?  My wife had one of those times a few nights ago.

Her “Trilogy of Terror” began when she was looking for me in the house which was getting a little dark since it was early evening and we hadn’t yet turned on lights.  I heard her calling my name but I remained silent as my juvenile side took over and I waited until she stood in the dark hallway.  I flung my jacket out of the bedroom and into the hallway; the “cloak of death” hurled itself toward Jenny and she let out a scream, stammering back as if she would surely faint.  I was completely prepared for a beating from that one.

The second small scare occurred when we were lying in bed, watching some TV when all of a sudden Jenny looked up and screamed “SPIDER”!!  It turned out to be a large mosquito which I quickly squashed with a tissue.  The “Peace de la Resistance” occurred as we were preparing for bed.

As a general routine, I take the dog out for one last elimination thus eliminating the middle of the night whines.  On this particular night, we were receiving torrential downpours.  I let Izzy have a moment of solitude as I stood in the doorway with my back to the door and the Christmas wreath hanging from it.  I had on my hooded robe as I normally do.  After Izzy returned, I closed up shop, headed up the stairs and waltzed in the bedroom.  About that time, I felt air on my neck, heard a “whoosh” sound and saw a dark form swoop over my head and land on one of the pictures on the other side of the room.  Jenny let out a blood curdling scream and dove under the covers.  A Carolina house wren had evidently been in the wreath to escape the deluge, jumped in to the hood of my robe and hitchhiked his way into the house.  The bird was staring down his very long, sharp beak at me with small beady eyes and I just knew he wanted to peck my eyes out!

Jenny and I developed a strategic game plan on how to isolate our feathered friend so we could catch and free the little pooper.  Armed with a long nylon feather duster and bath towel, we closed the doors to all the other rooms which left the kitchen and living room exposed.  The little flyer flew into the kitchen and up on the cabinet ledge; he must have thought he was in an aviary version of little shop of horrors as positioned on every cabinet ledge were Jenny’s still life Hens & Roosters she had collected over the years.  The pointy beaked wonder flew back and forth between and on top of the variety of ledge fowl; meanwhile, Jenny followed suit with feather duster in hand trying to corral the feathered beast. We orchestrated our bright idea of turning out every light except for the one at the back door.  After several minutes of failed attempts to lure him to safety, a combination of a samurai duster, matador cape bath towel and ultimate fatigue on the part of the bird finally brought him down to the floor by the back door.  I urged him on out with the towel and that was that.

All the while we were working to free our uninvited guest back to the great outdoors, it struck me how we just wanted him safe and uninjured, back to where he belonged.  God must feel that way with us at times when we flit about from here to there, wanting to do our own thing when all He wants is for us to be safe under His guidance and protection.  As Psalm 91:4 NIV puts it, “He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.”  So often, we just don’t get it.  Our selfish nature screams out for the “freedom” WE deserve and when God tries to guide us or chastise us for the greater good, we cry foul!   Unfortunately, all along we are like that bird, flying back and forth from one ledge (vice, habit, sin) to another, trapped by our own distorted sense of freedom.  If we could just stop for once, rest, take a breath and allow our Heavenly Father to pick us up and release us into His perfect will where we would be totally free indeed…

Coincidentally, after all the ruckus was over and the bird was safe, we still had to clean up all the mess he left behind including bird droppings and small feathers everywhere.  But we could still hold on to the satisfaction that one of God’s creatures was still safe and able to once again fly free.

Matthew 6:26 ESV  “Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not of more value than they?”

Christian, Christianity, God, Humor, Inspirational, Life, Spirituality

Being Thankful

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ThanksgivingKnow that the LORD Himself is God; It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; We are His people and the sheep of His pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving And His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him, bless His name. For the LORD is good; His lovingkindness is everlasting And His faithfulness to all generations.  Psalm 100:3-5 NIV

It’s that time again…the doldrums days when the brilliant vibrant colors of autumn have been replaced by the brown/gray hue of late fall.  It is the time when there is not only frost on the pumpkin but the pumpkin is sagging and rotting from decay.  This is also a season of ultimate confusion as you hear a cacophony of Christmas jingles and carols on the air waves and cable before anyone can even gather to gather in a spirit of Thanksgiving.  And in the middle of this precursor mix of holiday turmoil sits my birthday ready and anxious to scream in my ear yet once again “hey, Buddy, you are getting older”!

As if it couldn’t get any more rich, I just happen to share my birthday with the remembrance of the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.  I remember it was my sixth birthday and mom was having a very difficult time preparing my birthday cake.  I knew something pretty ominous had just occurred but in my very infantile six year old mind I was thinking, “Uh, hello?  Birthday boy here…remember me…uh, can’t have a celebration without a cake…hello?  Hey, you can’t be crying on MY day…Hello?”

And so the news worthy reminder of a tragedy to our country and to our nation’s innocence, of a lost Camelot was ceremoniously delivered year after year by the talking heads of the times.  Fifty-two years later, there may be a blurb on the web concerning the event but it has all but been tucked away in the annals of history.  For indeed, time eventually heals all wounds and the pain and guilt associated with any horrific event is ultimately numbed and silenced by the passing of time.  Fortunately, I have matured over the years and what was once a ghost or shadow haunting “my day” each year, has turned into a reminder of thankfulness.

  • I am first of all thankful for this journey God has placed before me and am excited for each day I have to walk along the paths He has laid out for me.
  • I am thankful for God granting me the privilege of living in this great world of ours for the past fifty-eight years; I’ll take ”seasoned” over “deceased” any day…
  • I am thankful for my family around me and the opportunity to positively influence the young life of our granddaughter as she grows and matures.
  • I am thankful to have been raised in a home that displayed not only an undying love for each family member but also taught the importance of knowing there were circumstances much bigger and at times more significant than our own wants or needs.
  • I am thankful for our freedoms in this great country of ours and try not to take any of them for granted.

I could go on and on about being thankful but here is something we must be reminded; we must always be in a spirit of thanksgiving all year through, not just during one day on the calendar.  We must thank God for everything He provides for us in the everyday, workaday world we live in, whether it be something big or insignificant. For God deserves our praise in all things, not just the extraordinary.

So I encourage anyone reading this to please take the time, examine your heart and find those pearls of life events and God given life opportunities to be thankful for today and every day throughout the year, not just the season of “We Gather to Gather to Jingle All the Way in the Auld Lang Syne”.  As for me, this six-year- old times ten shy two is going to continue to praise God for His goodness and enjoy the big slice of life He has handed me…along with a big slice of birthday cake as well…compliments of my wife!!

Christian, Christianity, God, Halloween, Hope, Humor, Inspirational, Life, Spirituality

Serpent in the Mount—A tine tingling tale…

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Jackolanterns2

It’s that time again; time for the ghosts and ghouls of another Halloween to make their annual appearance.  And while my wife and I aren’t really into the spookiness of Halloween and pretty much stick to the autumn aspects of pumpkins and mums, we still get the childlike joy of driving around looking at the ”haunted” decorations and of course, being awed by the little beggars, dressed to impress…or distress.  I have never been one to race to the front of the line so I could be publicly humiliated in the local house of horrors either;  screaming like a little girl while being stroked by a synthetic hand is not my idea of a good time.  I find real life scary enough sometimes and thus, my account of a rather frightening experience just a few days ago reflected below…

My son-in-law and I decided to take on a joint venture and purchased an old rototiller, offered to Justin by a co-worker.  Justin brought home the mechanical prize and it was immediately evident it needed a little work.  We stored the metal toothed wonder on the outside of my garage and one day I got adventuresome, deciding to put a little gas in the machine and give the cord a good pull to see if it would breathe life again.  It didn’t take long until I found it was indeed hemorrhaging fuel so I decided to catch the escaping liquid and give my shoulder a rest.  Justin later took a long look at it and decided it needed several gaskets and other parts in order to resuscitate our “find”.

Fast forward to a few days ago; Justin had taken the tiller to another area for storage until the parts had arrived for the gasket transplant.  On Saturday, Justin proceeded to rebuild the carburetor and remove the gas tank for cleaning.  I walked over just as he was making final adjustments.  After all was in order, Justin tweaked the choke, gave the rope one good pull and the tiller sprang to life.  We smiled, gave mental “high fives” and was standing there admiring the purr from the engine when Justin suddenly became a little more animated, jumping back exclaiming “WHOAA”!

I quickly looked down at the back of the tiller just in time to watch an eighteen inch baby copperhead crawl out of the drive belt area of the motor mount and proceeded to drop down on to the pavement below,  slithering around, trying to find a safe exit into the grass.  I am standing three feet away, suddenly feeling quite exposed as I am dressed in my “business hippie” style of button down shirt, jean shorts and bare feet; my phalanges seemed especially naked to this juvenile reptile.  This surreal “oh crap” moment, full of fright, wonderment, shock, and disbelief was over in a second.  Justin steered “junior” back on to the pavement where he planted his size ten boot upon the venomous infant’s head and half of its’ body.

So what is scaring you these days?  Could it be the world around us with its’ uncertainties relating to the economy, governmental corruption, climate changes or a myriad of other headlines reflected in several different languages, currently lining the bottom of bird cages around the world?  Perhaps you are personally dealing with a chronic illness or disease OR the big “C” (cancer) has come to haunt your household.  Whatever your fright fight might be, I want you to know there is One who knows you intimately and is right alongside you during these scary times of life.  2 Corinthians 1:3-5 says, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.  For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ”.  God knows our every need and can soothe our every fear; we just need to give it to Him and let God work everything out for His good.

God even knows my innate fear of snakes.  And while Justin and I are still wondering where the rest of Junior’s family resides, I have to resign myself to the fact that scary things do happen in the every day and I need to trust God to both protect me and give me the wisdom to know what to do in the frightful situation.  Prayer is a great start; wearing shoes and looking down at the grass more while walking through the yard might not be a bad idea either…

Accountability, Christian, Christianity, Forgiveness, God, Hope, Humor, Inspirational, Life, Love, Spirituality

Well, that’s not FAIR!!

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surprised smiley

As I was growing up, our family never really had a whole lot of material things to hold on to.   In fact, my youngest sister and I still joke about being so poor, all we had were catfish heads to play with instead of toys.   But what we did have made all the difference in shaping our lives to adulthood.  We had food on the table, we were clean, we wore clean clothes even though they were seldom brand new, and we had love in our home.  We learned how to count and perform basic math in our heads by playing dominoes.  We were taught respect, how to use our common sense, and the necessity to implement the common courtesies we learned along the way.  I’ll never forget one of those “lessons learned”.

One day when I was just a boy, my mom and I were walking down the sidewalk in our small town, running errands.  I was walking to mom’s left side and she quickly corrected me by urging my slight frame to her other side.  I looked at her a little puzzled and she saw the question on my face.  “Men and boys are ALWAYS supposed to walk on the outside of the female, closest to the street” she responded with a matter of fact persona that begged the question “why”?  Mom’s response was enough to send me into a tailspin.  “Well, because if a car swerved toward the sidewalk, it would hit the male first as protector, protecting the fairer sex.”  “Well, that’s not fair!!”, I screamed inside my mind as I had mental images of being sprawled out in the middle of the street, teeth littered around my body as the maiden in distress stood over my lifeless form, hands clasped together and pressed to one of her cheeks declaring, “my HERO!”

It took me more than a few years to completely understand what Mom was trying to teach me in that moment.  You see, we all have the grave responsibility to be more than what we are; to step out of ourselves, our comfort zones, and to be made available to meet other’s needs; even up to and including death.  What parent wouldn’t think twice about running into a burning home to rescue their children but what about your special needs neighbor?  What about the stranger you see every day walking to work because they can’t afford a means to get from point A to point B?

The news this past couple of weeks has been full of unsung heroes doing what they did not because of a possible fifteen minutes of fame or a handshake and “atta boy” from our POTUS but because it was the right thing to do.  Whether it was the hero who would rather take seven bullets from a madman than to fathom another life lost or the stranger in South Carolina who went from door to door in his boat, trying to save anyone in need instead of thinking about his own loss of property, there are true heroes out there but there needs to be more.

Here is another example.  Jesus Christ was sent here from His home to dwell among strangers and haters, not because He enjoyed deprecation but because it was the right thing to do; not only was He being obedient to His Father but He loved/loves us with a fierce love we cannot comprehend.  Jesus had the ultimate reason to cry out “well, that’s not Fair!!” as He hung from that cross, completely broken and humiliated, bleeding and aching from the weight of OUR sin.  Perfect love conquered His own need for preservation as a man on this earth so we wouldn’t have to suffer an eternal separation from the One who made us, our heavenly Father.

What about you and me?  Isn’t it time we turn away from the deceptive mirror of self we have been staring in to far too long and instead, peer out the window of our safe, selfish little cocoon to a world full of need.  And even though we can’t save the whole world, why don’t we just start with the world around us; our city, our neighborhood, our own home.  Pray for the courage to be THAT person who makes a difference, that man or woman who is brave enough to put away the “Me-Me’s” and embrace the unique needs of others.

As for the lesson learned so long ago, I still irritate the people around me, stepping forward to open the door for a lady, whether they be nine or ninety or to walk on the outside, closest to the street.  You see, the common courtesies have been engrained in my very being along with another sentiment; sometimes life isn’t fair…but life is a privilege and passes too soon so we have to make the most of every opportunity to serve those around us.

John 15:12-15 (NIV)– My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.  You are my friends if you do what I command.  I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

Accountability, Christian, Christianity, God, Humor, Inspirational, Life, Spirituality

Imitators

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Over the edge 2

Our granddaughter is almost eight months old now and is beginning to imitate other’s actions such as waving bye and attempting to move her finger up and down across her lips while making noises; she prefers her entire fist though, resulting in a saliva fest.  It seems our entire life is spent either following someone else’s example or being a role model for someone else to follow.

I remember growing up during my influential years in the 1960’s and 70’s where everyone seemed to be expressing one’s self in different ways.  Smoking was one of those things taken for granted and a lot of my family participated in this freedom to inhale toxic fumes.

Living in the country afforded a few freedoms as well.  For instance, the freedom to burn trash in the open air.  Being the imitator as a kid but without having the means to try smoking with an actual cigarette, I found some dry hollow reeds down along the creek bank by the square brick burning pit while I was burning trash one day.  The gray-white fibers of the reeds resembled the white paper of the cancer stick.  I decided I wanted to look and act as cool as my older siblings so I broke off a four inch section of the reed and put the tip of the “cigarette” in the flames until the end glowed red from the embers.  I put the imitation cigarette to my mouth like I had seen others do many times before and inhaled.

What happened next was nothing less than life changing.  Small flames entered my throat along with smoky air, singeing my esophagus in the process.  My eyes grew wide from the pain as well as the smoky pungent smell of burning reed racing down my lungs. I involuntarily coughed uncontrollably, the blackish gray smoke bellowing out as if more anxious to rise to the surface than I was to get it out so I could breathe again.  I stood there, continuing to cough violently as well as mentally kicking myself across the yard.  I desperately glanced in all directions to see if anyone else had witnessed the blatant stupidity of a young boy trying to imitate the foolishness of others.

Fast forward more than a couple of decades and I find myself once again in the present, hopefully much more wiser and aware of the consequences of imitating others or following someone’s example without first analyzing and reasoning out their intentions and possible negative outcomes.  However, I am greatly concerned and have been for some time that it seems many blindly follow and imitate the latest trends, fads, popular people in the spotlight, and yes, even governmental politics bent toward entitlement and socialism without first stepping back for even a split second to think of the eventual consequences of said blind following.

Don’t you think it is past time to be the responsible, accountable “grown-ups” we are supposed to be and pray to again become the examples of those growing up around us?  And before you judge me for seemingly being such a self-righteous hypocrite, brandishing my pistol of one-sided opinions, may I remind you that I only write what is on my heart that God is also speaking to me; I’m certainly aware of my own shortcomings—and I need help.

Ephesians 5:1-2(ESV) reads, “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.  And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” What an awesome reminder of whom we should imitate constantly in thought, word, and deed so we have a chance to be that example others are looking for to follow.  And now that I find myself in the position of tribal elder in our little family nucleus, I am once again reminded of the grave responsibility we have as humans to impress upon our next generation not only the common courtesies and manners of life, the do’s and don’ts that separate the civilized from the savages but especially the eternal.  For it is only through the grace of God that we are still here, breathing on this earth and it is only by His mercy through His son Jesus Christ that we have a hope for a future far better than our present circumstances.

The next time you see a child doing something they shouldn’t, even to the point of foolishly ingesting noxious fumes from a weed, fight the inner adult child within that wants to sit back and see what happens so you can be entertained, and use this as a time of instruction, of lovingly guiding that student on to a better path of wisdom and understanding.   And remember, those eyes are on you whether you want them to be or not, imitating your every move; make the most of it.

Proverbs 14:12 (ESV)—There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.

Christian, Christianity, God, Hearing, Hope, Humor, Inspirational, Life, Listening, Spirituality

Lost in Translation

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ILoveNY

Sometimes in life, we are misunderstood for whatever reason and the results can be disastrous…or hilarious.  Even the best intentions can be misconstrued and the end game can often times mean an unintended conflict.  We are so caught up in the day to day distractions, especially the invasive home invader called the cell phone, that often times we only hear half of a question asked or the conversation going on around you.  Some folks get quite offended when your response is somewhat different from what was expected because we just didn’t listen.

Unfortunately, this is familiar grounds for me these days.  I am completely deaf in my right ear due to an unwanted nemesis called Meniere’s Disease.  At times, depending on the noise level around me, I need to watch someone’s lips when they talk to aid in “hearing” what they are saying.  I DO want to know what they are trying to communicate or convey, so many times I have to ask the person to please repeat part or all of the question or conversation.  For instance, someone might say, “Have a good day” and I might hear and interpret, “I need a dozen eggs”…yep I know, it can be amusing to hear a response to a phrase lost in translation.

Recently, my wife and I experienced another type of miscommunication.  Jenny’s birthday was coming up and I wanted to get her something special to commemorate our move to North Carolina.  I jumped on Amazon and perused the possibilities and landed on a T-shirt that read, “I Love (it was actually a heart) North Carolina.  Her favorite color is purple so I ordered the T-shirt in the appropriate size and color, and took in account the lead time of two weeks to receive the precious surprise gift.

Periodically, I would go out to check on the progress of the shipment, and it always reflected the same “in transit” response.  I waited through the two week time frame and still no package OR any way to communicate to the company to inquire about shipment.  A couple of days later, the package was finally delivered.  I pulled the garment out of the plastic shipment bag and held it up for examination.  The T-shirt was two sizes smaller than ordered even though the tag reflected the appropriate size.  The white lettering bled into the purple background and now appeared a muddy gray.  Needless to say, I was not a happy camper.

I began the arbitration process with the Chinese manufacturer, explained what we had actually received and communicated our displeasure with the product.  Their response was a lack of ownership and it was evident we were going nowhere fast.  The litany of e-mails back and forth went on for a week before I contacted Amazon concerning the situation and received a full refund within 24 hours.

Three days after the resolution by Amazon, I received another e-mail from the company reflected below, as copied directly from the e-mail: (It’s better to read this mentally using an Asian accent) “Dear buyer,   We are afraid that you are a little misunderstand us. We have figured out the problem,and we can resend you a new one. Of course ,this time you do not have to repay again. And we promise the image printed on the shirt will be better. To be frank ,our company is a new one,and we tried our best to improve the quality. Now the printed technology is much better than before. Hope you can reconsider it. Thank you so much!”

I relented and sent an approval response along with a suggestion that they send the product two sizes larger than requested earlier.  Six weeks later, we received another plastic shipping envelope from China with another purple T-shirt tucked inside.  When Jenny pulled out the fabric “treasure”, it was two sizes smaller than the one originally sent with the caption “I Love NY” emblazoned across the chest along with a silhouette of the Statue of Liberty and other snippets of the New York skyline.  Who doesn’t want or need an “I LOVE NY” shirt, right?  We both stared at each other and burst out laughing as we pondered whether to find a very petite lover of purple who just happened to have a desire to tour New York or just keep it back for our granddaughter as a sleep shirt.  Something was definitely lost in translation…

Sometimes I have a problem understanding the will of God and where He is leading me; it almost feels like I’m almost spiritually deaf; I just don’t seem to have an understanding or appreciation for where God has taken me so far or that He IS continuing to lead me on toward His will.  Proverbs 2:2-5 (ESV) states,  Making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.  That gives me comfort as I continue praying for that understanding.  I definitely don’t want my spiritual life to be “lost in translation”.

I’m still waiting for an e-mail back from the manufacturer asking if we are satisfied with the awesome new replacement but I’m sure if they were to ask for a picture of their “improved quality product”, someone in China would have a face as red as the heart on that “special” shirt.  This is just a simple reminder that we are ALL fallible human beings.  Even those living on the other side of the world…

Christian, Christianity, God, Hope, Humor, Inspirational, Life, new life, Patience, Spirituality

Transplants—Cultivating the Best from Change

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wilted

My wife and I are weekend garden warriors who like to piddle in the yard whenever we get the chance. Our new home is basically a blank slate on the outside and I’m sure we will have red clay up to our elbows in no time. But it seems no matter how long we have been gardeners, there appears to be a mystery surrounding the act of transplanting.

Depending on the flora species, most plants get a little touchy about having their root system manhandled.  Many times, they tend to be perfectly happy in their root bound state and transplanting that plant to a new, different, larger home may result in a temporary sagging of leaves and pretty much a visually sad state. You see, the plant needs time to scope out the new soil, stretch out its roots in the larger expanse, and nibble on the new aromatic fertilizer but temporarily as a result, some of the leaves may get droopy and yellowed and the whole plant may seem depressed. It doesn’t understand that in the long run, this change is necessary for its very survival.

My wife and I have been experiencing some droopiness of our own. For you see, our physical move has been very much like that displaced vegetation. And even though we DO know long term it will be very beneficial for us, the adjustments to the physical surroundings, culture, and lifestyle are sometimes pretty overwhelming. “What do you mean you don’t have a Gold Star Chili or donut shops down here?” But we both know who the master potter is and that He will give us exactly what we need, when we need it so we can continue to grow and bloom for Him. However, the fertilizer, the spiritual nourishment we most desperately need to grow bigger and better than ever before is yet to be determined; we need a church home.

Whether you are a believer in Christ or not, attempting to integrate or graft one’s self into the right living organism called the local church is as important as finding the right sized pot and proper fertilizer for a houseplant and the very act of finding a church home is not a small feat. You cannot force yourself in to just any environment and expect to grow spiritually. Many times due to traditions (we have always done it this way), infighting, or just a simple lack of vision, a church body can become stagnant and unhealthy. Maybe in those circumstances, a little weeding needs to be done. And on the other end of the spectrum, a growing, vibrant church can be just too “busy” to cultivate and nurture the souls of new converts or those looking for a church; they may have a “live long and prosper, now scoot!!” or “danger, stranger!” mentality that leaves the individual wondering what just happened. Yep, sometimes even a healthy church “plant” becomes too large and needs to be separated and replanted from the main plant to remain healthy.

We have confidence that God, our master Gardener, has the perfect spiritual “garden” in mind and that He will plant us among other believers in His time, all different but yet the same, to grow and prosper for His glory and purpose. And even though the act of being transplanted to a new “pot” can be more than a little stressful and yes, painful at times, we can cultivate the best from change and grow to appreciate its’ abundant rewards.

But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.  2 Peter 3:18 ESV

For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.  Romans12:4-5 NASB